Simmons Coaching


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DARE TO DREAM

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I was talking to someone recently and they told me that they do not dream as there is nothing to dream about.  I was saddened to hear this but it was not the first time.  Through my life I have not really paid much attention to this…for myself or other people.  What has brought this to my attention is the few times I have heard this from other people recently.  How sad is it?  The fear of dreaming. The fear of hope.  The fear of possibilities.  The fear of not achieving the dream. Maybe the real fear is failure or disappointment. 

The Questions – to name a few…

What keeps you going then?  What harm is there in dreaming?  What if the worst thing that can happen if the dream does not come true?  Then what?  What is the barrier to success? Not enough money?  Poor health?  Judgment and perception?  Stuck?  Poor planning?  A lack of a plan?

What?  A Plan? 

There are dreams and then there are plans.  The warm fuzzy dreams where we see ourselves in dream jobs with dream lives on dream beaches drinking beverages with umbrellas.  We all really do dream at some point or another. After the dream leaves our thoughts we then talk about it again from time to time.  We may reflect back on the dream every now and then.  Then we forget about it because it is not attainable.  What you need…is a PLAN.

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P lan to

L ive in

A bsolute

N irvana

Yes..a plan.  What nirvana looks like is different for each individual.  Everyone can achieve their own idea of nirvana, their dream…with a plan.

What may get in the way…

Life is going to get in the way.  There is no doubt about it.  Commitments, family, friends, kids, partners, work, eating, breathing, your own saboteur mind…it will all get in the way and cloud judgment and thought.  It is all powerful enough to stop you cold…except if you have a plan and are committed to it.

Accountability…

Setting up a plan for your dream is very simple.  Write down on a piece of paper what your goal or dream is, what you need to get there (ie. resources, time, shift , etc.), and when you want this.  You have to be realistic.  Is flying to the moon realistic?  Maybe for some but not for most.  Is the trip of a lifetime attainable?- absolutely.  Is a new house, or even a first house, attainable?  Why not?  What is your dream?  What is the plan that goes along with your dream?  How accountable are you to your plan?  Accountability is around the date and time you have set for each step of the plan.  The most important part is that you are moving towards your plan and not stalling.  Dates and times can be changed as long as you are taking steps towards the goal.  If you say you are going to have a task done for your plan by a certain date and time then make it happen or at least take steps to making it happen.

Sounds easy enough…

It all sounds pretty straightforward but requires work on your part – a lot of work.  It may even involve…yes…here it is…CHANGE.  This word makes the heart skip a beat for some.  The challenge is if you keep going the way you are going, and not making any changes, you will still be where you are. 

So what changes are you willing to make to achieve your goals.  You cannot change your family, at least not easily.  You can’t change your kids.  You can definitely work on your health.  You can change your job, how you spend your money, what you commit to.  You can make changes to a lot of aspects of your life.  It all starts with one thing.  YOU.  You have to be willing to make changes, sacrifices and maybe some hard decisions.  This is what dreamers do to make their dreams come true.  You are no different. 

So Ask Yourself…Image

 What is my dream?  What is my plan?  Where is a pen and paper to write this stuff down?  It is that simple.  Go forth and be fierce..and most of all..DREAM!

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DONT ROCK THE BOAT…

Off of Saona Island in the DR.

Off of Saona Island in the DR.

The idea for this post came to me due to my present state.  I just came back from an eight day cruise in the Caribbean.  I know…I hear the tiny violins now.  The problem is I can’t stop rocking.  As I sit here writing I feel like I am surfing and crashing on the white caps of the swells.  It won’t stop.  I can sit here now and complain or I can do something about it.  I choose to do something about it.  I am going to apply it to life.

The Fear of Rocking…

When we are dealing with a difficult issue – whether it is dealing with a child, friend, family member, co-worker – whoever the person is we never want to “rock the boat”.  It is a fear of asking the questions or a fear of hearing the answers.  We don’t want to insult, hurt, disappoint, feel disappointed, offend, judge (although some can’t help themselves), be judged.  There are many things we do not want.  We do want smooth waters though.  So what is wrong with that you may ask?  Well… nothing is wrong with smooth sailing.  The issue is there will always be swells that we have to deal with.

The Personal Challenge…

The challenge is to rock or not.  The first thing to do is ask yourself, quietly in your head, what is my motivation?  Do I want to prove a point? Make my opinion known? Impart my wealth of knowledge on the other person? Show how smart I think I am? OR do I really want a positive result for the other person?  Do I care enough about the other person(s) or the situation to really want to be a part of the solution?  These are questions that only each of us can answer for ourselves.  So what do you do when you figure out your motive?

Smooth Waters Ahead…

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Near the beach in Aruba

Get Curious.  Ask Questions. Ask powerful questions.  Don’t ask why.  Ask How, Where, What.  Empower rather than preach, LISTEN rather than speak.  You don’t need to solve or fix.  Rocking the boat involves being fierce, asking questions, listening to the answers, being able to have your own boat rocked, not judging.  It involves being present, real and caring.  For most people it just involves being yourself.  Your true authentic self.  The thing about the rocking I am feeling right now is it is temporary.  It will go away soon.  It is a small blip or wave.  Don’t just rock someone’s boat – ROCK THEIR WORLD.  This is a perfect opportunity to ride the wave and make a small difference for someone.  When it comes from the heart and you are able to self manage your own personal feeling and judgments you will be giving the other person the cruise of their life…with no rocking feeling for days after.