Simmons Coaching


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Off of Saona Island in the DR.

Off of Saona Island in the DR.

The idea for this post came to me due to my present state.  I just came back from an eight day cruise in the Caribbean.  I know…I hear the tiny violins now.  The problem is I can’t stop rocking.  As I sit here writing I feel like I am surfing and crashing on the white caps of the swells.  It won’t stop.  I can sit here now and complain or I can do something about it.  I choose to do something about it.  I am going to apply it to life.

The Fear of Rocking…

When we are dealing with a difficult issue – whether it is dealing with a child, friend, family member, co-worker – whoever the person is we never want to “rock the boat”.  It is a fear of asking the questions or a fear of hearing the answers.  We don’t want to insult, hurt, disappoint, feel disappointed, offend, judge (although some can’t help themselves), be judged.  There are many things we do not want.  We do want smooth waters though.  So what is wrong with that you may ask?  Well… nothing is wrong with smooth sailing.  The issue is there will always be swells that we have to deal with.

The Personal Challenge…

The challenge is to rock or not.  The first thing to do is ask yourself, quietly in your head, what is my motivation?  Do I want to prove a point? Make my opinion known? Impart my wealth of knowledge on the other person? Show how smart I think I am? OR do I really want a positive result for the other person?  Do I care enough about the other person(s) or the situation to really want to be a part of the solution?  These are questions that only each of us can answer for ourselves.  So what do you do when you figure out your motive?

Smooth Waters Ahead…


Near the beach in Aruba

Get Curious.  Ask Questions. Ask powerful questions.  Don’t ask why.  Ask How, Where, What.  Empower rather than preach, LISTEN rather than speak.  You don’t need to solve or fix.  Rocking the boat involves being fierce, asking questions, listening to the answers, being able to have your own boat rocked, not judging.  It involves being present, real and caring.  For most people it just involves being yourself.  Your true authentic self.  The thing about the rocking I am feeling right now is it is temporary.  It will go away soon.  It is a small blip or wave.  Don’t just rock someone’s boat – ROCK THEIR WORLD.  This is a perfect opportunity to ride the wave and make a small difference for someone.  When it comes from the heart and you are able to self manage your own personal feeling and judgments you will be giving the other person the cruise of their life…with no rocking feeling for days after.


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